The Ultimate Buzz Kill: Unrealistic Sex

Sexy CoupleAs I mentioned in a previous post, I think many readers of erotic romance transpose themselves with the heroine in the book they’re reading. They become someone named Catherine St Claire, feisty, wealthy, smart, savvy, head-turning beauty, who attracts men like flies to honey. Any not just any men, mind you, but the men all other women want but can’t have because those men are fixated on the heroine.

So in my fantasy world I’m getting a charge out of becoming Catherine St Claire, except when the writer describes Catherine in the throes of her seventh orgasm in the last ten minutes. More annoying still is when every one of those big o’s come entirely from pure intercourse with zero stimulation of the little love button.  Or how she loved it when her lover used soap as a lubricant before he had his way with her in the shower. That kills my buzz as fast as cops busting up a frat party. It takes me right out of the fantasy space and right into, “yeah, right. Like that really happens.”

I don’t doubt that there probably are women who can have seven orgasms in ten minutes. Or who don’t think that ordinary soap burns like hell when used as a lubricant. But for me, and I dare say for many females, it’s unrealistic. I know it’s all a fantasy – it’s called fiction after all – but for some reason I’m good with the heroine being breathtakingly beautiful, wildly successful, fluent in six languages, artistically gifted, but throw in her thinking that her lover’s sperm is as delicious as a Ben & Jerry’s milkshake and it takes me right out of the fantasy.

The great thing about erotic scenes in romance is the endless variety of what writers can have their lovers do. One person’s turn-on can be someone else’s trash, and that’s OK. But when a writer tries to convince me how the heroine screamed in ecstatic joy from her first-time anal experience, pain free and multi-orgasmic, I’m throwing the book against the wall.

What do you think? Ever come across unrealistic sex in erotic romance, or does anything go for you? Let me know!

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