In erotic romances there are endless creative ways that authors “spice up” the sex scenes by moving beyond the traditional guy/girl going at it in the bedroom. Nowadays we’ve got ménage (pick your pleasure, either F/M/M or F/F/M), group, gay, voyeur, bondage, and on and on. But I read an interesting article on mutual masturbation recently that caught my attention because its focus centered on incorporating it into lovemaking as a way to enhance the relationship. It wasn’t just sexy for sexy’s sake, but rather an element of lovemaking whose objective is to boost the intimacy and understanding between couples of what really gets their engines revved. In other words, “do this to me, baby, and you’ll have me screaming ’til the cows come home.”
Author of the article, Dawn Michael, is a certified Clinical Sexologist, according to her website. In her article she writes, “understanding your own body and how it functions sexually, including what feels good to you and how to achieve an orgasm, is what makes for better, more intimate sex with your partner. That’s one of the many reasons why masturbation—especially mutual masturbation—can help create better intimacy in a relationship or marriage, both sexual and emotional.”
That seems to make sense. So I wonder, why do I not see a lot of these scenes in erotic romance? There are some, of course, and there are some that come close. Telephone sex springs to mind – a topic I wrote about here on Lady Smut some time ago. Here’s the link if you want to check it out. I suppose there’s also masturbation with someone while you’re in an internet chat room, but since you can’t even talk to the person I’m not sure that counts as doing it with someone. Anyway, if mutual masturbation truly deepens the level of intimacy in a relationship, as Ms. Michael asserts, and our hero and heroine are on their way to falling in love, why is it not standard fare in erotic romance?
Could it be the embarrassment factor? I’m thinking of the ladies in particular. Maybe women don’t feel comfortable showing their partner what turns them on through masturbation and therefore it doesn’t carry over into erotic romance. Perhaps it’s a kind of performance anxiety. I don’t know. I guess I’m not buying that. Our heroines are strong-minded, confident women. Being wilting wallflowers about demonstrating to their lovers what they like while making love doesn’t seem quite right.
Certainly mutual masturbation has its fans. Check out what this guy has to say.
All in all, it seems like this may be a spicy gem that we authors could start more frequently incorporating into our erotic romance. What do readers think? Is this a sexy element that we need to pay more attention to? Is it a turn on? Something you’d like to see more of in erotic romances? Feel free to let us know. Also, be sure to follow us by clicking on the button to your right.
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