Fondled And Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It – Book Review

Fondled and GobbledIt all started, according to the introduction of Ellora’s Cave, Fondled And Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It, at last year’s RomantiCon convention. Alcohol-fueled minds played a significant role. Someone started a conversation about favorite scenes in erotic romances, someone else started speculating about how funny it would be to do a parody of them, and thus this amusing, lighthearted anthology was born.

The five short stories in this quick, fun read are all different, but they maintain the goal of spoofing erotic romance. They all garnered at least a smile for me, with a couple of them being straight laugh-out-loud hilarious.

The first story in the book, Cassandra Carr’s Wild Fantasy Hero, was also my favorite. It’s a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, with the heroine being Steele Ana and the hero Grey Christian. The story would be funny even without the benefit of having read Fifty Shades, but certainly the guffaws are enhanced if you have. Carr’s writing sprinkles hilarious metaphors throughout the story, and she definitely comes up with some doozies. ” . . . she fastened her lips arond the head and sucked hard, using Grey’s cock like a huge straw. Grey’s hands flew into her hair and he steered her like he was captaining an F-18.”

Next is Danica Avet’s Cookie Bound. The hero appears to be perfect: perfect gentleman (he saves her from a mugging), perfect body, wealthy, kind . . . but his skills in the bedroom fall a little short, starting with his “tootsie roll” sized, ahem, appendage.

We get alien sex in Lea Barrymire’s Moonlust Paradise, in which the alien has three – count ’em! – three cocks that he uses with exemplary skill to seduce his Earth woman soulmate. I had to laugh when the alien asks Earth girl Missy, who’s busy orally  pleasuring him, what her name is. “Mithy,” she replies, since her mouth is, you know, full.

Piper Trace gives us Slave To The Sausage, a group sex spoof with sex-crazed Emily Justasalad who, despite her last name, has got to have “meat.” Enter the Broadshaft Brothers, owners of a pizzeria who fill Emily’s wishes and all of her orifices with their hot man sausages. “Go ahead,” says the brothers’ restaurant tagline. “Just try to beat our meat!”

The final story is Anya Richards’ Surprise Submissive, the M/M story in the lot. I liked this story, with its amusing take on the dom/submissive genre, but I actually thought it was also kinda hot.

Speaking of that, as you can imagine these stories aren’t meant to get us panting and reaching for a fan and ice chips as we’re reading them. They’re funny and clever and while they may leave you wanting more, it’s for the laughs and not the sex. And humor, like anything, can be taste specific. In places where I was snorting others may be snoozing. But it’s a fun book and a refreshing way to look at the world of erotic romance. Check it out. If it leaves you wanting more, EC has also released Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back For Seconds.

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